When I was 5, my father was killed in Vietnam…

As a kid with no father, no guidance, and no hope – I was lost.
‍
And I stayed lost for the next 34 years of my life. I drifted through what could have been the happiest years of my life without direction – just going with the flow on autopilot.

I started college at 18
“‘cause everyone needs to go to college”

– but couldn’t make it past the 3rd semester and dropped out. I took one more weak swing at college when I was 20, but dropped out even faster the second time around.

But I was an adult. I had to do something with my life. So, for the next 8 years, I held every job you could possibly imagine: I dipped my toes in landscaping, roofing, laying carpets, and working at a lumber mill. I was a janitor, I was a waiter, and – for the better part of a decade – I was a UPS driver. But each of those jobs sucked the life from my soul. And I hated them all to varying degrees.

But on a beautiful day, a miracle happened:

I broke my foot. Sure, it hurt like crazy – but since you can’t go driving around with a broken foot, I was forced into making a career change.

Now, for some inexplicable reason, I was fearless at the time. I felt I could do whatever I wanted – and I had the confidence (or maybe naivety) to actually believe this.

So, I took my wife and 3 children, and moved halfway across the country from Seattle to Texas. Where, for the third time in my life, I decided to go to college. Oh, but this time I finally finished it, too. And at the age of 36, I got my Bachelor’s degree in Geology.

Then, I got my first serious job

– or so I thought.

My Geology degree helped me land a great job at a reputable oil & gas company in Houston. But after the gas industry’s downturn in 1998, nearly half of all oil & gas employees were laid off – including me.

Another 10 years went by. Always choosing the easy road. Always making the most comfortable decisions. Sure, I had somewhat better job opportunities, but I was still not being deliberate about my career and my life.

Despite being an adult – and a family man – I was still drifting through my life on autopilot! I was still the scared little kid I was back when my dad died. And I was still embracing a victim mentality, somehow blaming every bad thing in my life on my deceased father.

By then, I’d read several books that slowly changed my perspective, and had several role models & mentors nudging me in the right direction.

And one morning it all hit me.

Suddenly, I woke up from a lifetime of blindness and recognized that I needed to take 100% responsibility for my life and my decisions. I needed to be accountable for my life.

I often say that it was at the age of 39 that I was truly born and my life actually started.

I realized what I already knew: that being laid off sucks big time. But I suddenly realized the silver lining to all my career transitions: I actually knew quite a lot about how companies operated.

I knew how companies were structured and how the different departments worked together. I’ve seen thousands of people get laid off, and I could pinpoint the exact reasons behind a company making such a decision. But I’ve also seen hundreds of people get promoted and knew what it took to get that promotion. What’s more, I knew how to replicate the process – and get the same results.